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Updated: Mar 15

Before e-harmony became the standard operating procedure for potential matches, dating meant actually meeting someone. In the flesh. In person. Often you would get fixed up by a friend, meet at a bar, bump into them in some random way.

Now-a-days, seems every date is a blind date.

During my dating days, I experienced all of the above. Quite unsuccessfully I might add. Without the ability to pre-qualify a bio or scan photos, everyone I got involved with would soon drive me crazy. Hard to believe, but just as frequently, I would drive them crazy.

Ghosting was not a term invented yet, but I knew it all too well. Never once did a former boyfriend come out and explain why he was breaking up with me. Many years of sniveling, heartbroken confusion with never a clue as to what happened. Of course, I took it quite personally.

Knowing what I know now, I look back on those events and see a universal spiritual truth trying to reveal itself: We attract what we are.

It was difficult to admit, but eventually I saw that all my relationships were holding up a shiny, blatant mirror; each man was showing me an aspect of myself that I did not want to see. Every partner, no matter how long or short lived, was exposing something I was suppressing, avoiding, in denial of. The crazier they drove me, the bigger the mirror being presented.

No matter how much I protesteth, (and believe me I did). mirrors never lie.

Once I understood that truth, relationships got a heck-of-a-lot easier. Within a few dates I saw what they were teaching me about myself. I spent less time holding on, desperately trying to make them work. It may sound contradictory, but once I saw what was being reflected, I felt more love for myself. And that led to more love for others.

The next conundrum showed up adding more fuel to the fire -- I learned about the concept of soul mates. Although not sure how I would identify him, I began a quest to discover this enigmatic, perfect match of a man who would somehow change my life.

Then, he arrived. There was no doubt that he was The One.

Ignoring a loud inner voice advising that you are not supposed to be with this man romantically, I tried anyway. But try as I might, how I envisioned our connection would not happen.

My Hollywood-esq notion that soul mates walk arm-in-arm off into the sunset, music fading, credits rolling, happily-ever-after in bliss was a pack of lies. Instead, I learned that soul mates are simply that: Connection of two souls.

Brutally, I found out that soul mates are often magnification mirrors. They show the deepest denial, with the intention of helping us evolve using the toughest of tough love.

Because of this profound spiritual bond carried from lifetimes being together, said soul mate had precise tools to illuminate my lack of self-esteem, revealing my inauthenticity. He exposed my deepest fears, my disowned shadowed aspects. He was an accurate reflection of the toxic relationship I had with myself.

I had no idea who I truly was, yet expected him to love me.

My pursuit of a soul mate was coming from a futile attempt to fill in those missing pieces, needing the other to be the yin to my yang. Rather than reclaiming my denied parts, ending the ongoing war with myself, I needed him to be my knight in shining armor. The biggest lesson he unceremoniously put in my face was showing that I needed to be the yin to my own yang.

From this winding, tortuous, awakening journey unfolded self-acceptance. It allowed me to know I deserved real love.

As it always does, the universe provided someone who reflected my wholeness, not my neediness. By belonging to myself I could be with someone equally committed to our relationship. No longer running from my shadows, I could stand in the light of his true acceptance.

This process took as long as I needed it to; I would not have been ready to be with my husband a moment sooner. Every day I am filled with gratitude for Mr. Soul Mate for delivering backhanded, uncomfortable, lessons that awakened me to receive what I deserve. His prodding skills allowed me to learn what real love is rather than the misconstrued, romanticized notion about soul mates.

There might be roadblocks and frustrations in finding your Perfect Person. But letting go of the myth of what soul mate love is supposed to be is a leap in the right direction.

Seeing what is being reflected in all your relationships will fill your endless container of self-love. It will also show you that you are love.

And life really is as simple as that.

I invite you to choose love. When you do, love chooses you.


Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, a spiritually based program, to take you from triggered to empowered!

Perfect Life Awakening provides tools to discover and resolve sources of subconscious, self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth and unlocks the door to your highest potential.

If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness, and connect you to your authentic self.

Royce offers in person and remote group classes and private inner journey sessions using her empowering spiritual clearing techniques.

Royce hosts "The Perfect Life Awakening Show" on Om Media, first and third Wednesdays of the month at 9:00 a.m. PT. Listen to past episodes on iHeartRadio.

Subscribe to Royce's YouTube channel where she shares enlightening information about her empowering, spiritually based teachings!

Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings:

“Want: True love, past lives and other complications” explains the eternal connection of soulmates and the lessons that arrives from them.

“Know: A Spiritual Wake-Up Call” details in a step-by-step way, Royce's profound teachings that help you get in touch with who you really are by getting to the root of self-sabotage. Read more here.

“Back: Rebirth After Stroke” is Royce's personal spiritual journey after her husband's stroke that will help you through any traumatic event.

All Royce's books are available on

Her website is and Twitter is @RoyceMorales.

Her YouTube channel is Royce Morales. Email is

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