Do you find yourself thinking “If I get this, I will be happy”? Truth is, what you are desiring may not actually be what you think it is.
Happiness is complicated. Pardon the cliché, but it comes from within, not from anything ‘out there.’ Ever. But, trying to convince yourself of that is another story.
When striving for happiness, it is all too easy to grab whatever you can, hoping that this will be what does it. But when you get what you are striving for, does it leave you underwhelmed, off to the next pursuit? Or purchase?
Looking deeper, those things you are grabbing might be a futile desire to return to particular feelings you once had. Like when every day was a honeymoon before kids arrived and the mortgage had to be paid.
Maybe you are trying to get something intangible by acquiring something tangible. Like the recognition you believe you will get by owning an expensive car.
Some things you think you want are actually temporary fixes for past traumas or losses. Like futilely trying to fill emptiness after death of a loved one.
Much of what you want is something you felt deprived of as a child. Like hoping you will finally get your parents’ approval landing that lucrative job.
Discovering your real motives requires some honest inner delving, so it is usually easier to seek something material on which to project your desire.
Another uncomfortable truth about happiness is that dreaming about it, not actually receiving it, is often what makes you happiest.
The excitement of planning a vacation that ends up being better than the actual vacation. Finally receiving forbidden love and discovering it is no longer thrilling.
What you actually enjoyed was the illusive fantasy that reality can never live up to.
So, when you find yourself thinking “This will make me happy,” stop and ask yourself why you believe that. What does having this item symbolize? Look around: What have you acquired trying to recreate long-lost feelings? From whom are you still trying to get approval or recognition?
Striving for a life of meaning rather than happiness is the key. Doing something important to you, even struggling for it, brings a deep satisfaction. Not only does it bring longer-lasting happiness, it also allows you to truly appreciate life. And yourself.
One final truth: Happiness happens when you are busy with life, not worrying whether you are happy or not.
Or, as Bobby McFerrin says, “Don’t worry, be happy!”
Royce Morales is excited to announce her new radio show, "Listen Up with Royce Morales!" She will be interviewing fascinating people who have listened and trusted their intuition in big ways, sharing what happened from doing so. It airs the fourth Monday of every month at 9:00 a.m. PST on HealthyLife.net.
Her first guest is the phenomenal Michael Benner from KPFK!
Royce Morales, renowned transformational facilitator, developer and teacher of Perfect Life Awakening, offers unique, breakthrough, spiritually-based tools to discover and resolve the roots of self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound inner adventure awakens and transforms you by overcoming limiting beliefs, shifting your consciousness and resolving what's keeping you from a life of deservingness and true joy.
Contact Royce for a free fifteen minute consultation to see if this inner adventure is a good fit.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings: “Want: True love, past lives and other complications;” “Know: A spiritual wake-up call;” and “Back: Rebirth After Stroke,” all available on amazon.com