Once upon a time, I would do anything to gain approval -- friends, relatives and even strangers’ opinions mattered more than my own. I would bite my lip if I disagreed with someone; stuffed down my viewpoint and moved on. Trivializing or denying my needs was how I navigated life. When asked where I wanted to go for dinner, I would shrug my shoulders and say you choose, no matter what I craved.
It took extreme effort to rein myself in under the pretense of securing a stamp of approval. The price I paid thwarted my soul.
Through decades of helping others transform to authenticity, I have found that letting go of the need for approval is a universal challenge. The journey to self-approval requires resolving false beliefs and feeling deserving of embracing the true self. The heck with those other opinions!
Disapproval, real or perceived, triggers negative feelings. We feel invalidated, unimportant, unloved, not because of what was said, but because we believe it.
Think about this: Chances are, what was said to us reflects a subconscious belief we have, exposing something we are in denial of. Perhaps we have covered up that notion with polished pretenses and mastered skillsets, but it lurks in the background, breathing fire when revealed.
Our reaction is to argue, defend, rationalize. The louder we protesteth, the deeper the denial being exposed.
Being the recipient of disapproval offers a gift, one that presents profound personal growth opportunities when delved into.
Rather than reacting defensively to disapproval, determining ways to change ourselves or trying to get them to change, truthfully address what they are bringing to the surface. Recognizing the accurate exposed reflection they offer -- our denied inner disapproval -- opens the door for inner healing.
When we no longer yearn for external approval, we can allow others to have opinions or conflicting viewpoints. We can hear whether their words resonate or not, filing them as useful or pressing the delete button.
Once we approve of ourselves, we step into authenticity. Our freedom, our joy, our wellbeing is our power. We trust and value our choices, knowing they are the perfect for us.
The spiritual dance humans engage in is about spurring evolution, transforming fear-based consciousness into love.
Stamping ouf self-approval card allows life to reflect the true self-love we deserve.
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"Listen Up with Royce Morales!" is Royce's radio program that focuses on listening to your intuition, your spiritual knowingness! It airs the fourth Monday of every month at 9:00 a.m. PST on HealthyLife.net.
Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, an empowering program of spiritually-based tools to discover and resolve roots of self-sabotaging, subconscious programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth, and unlocks the door to your highest potential.
If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness and connect you with your soul's meaningful purpose.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings: “Want: True love, past lives and other complications;” “Know: A spiritual wake-up call;” and “Back: Rebirth After Stroke,” all available on amazon.com