As I was cuddling with my new husband on the first night of our honeymoon, I wanted to bolt out of the hotel room. I looked over at the man I had spent my entire life looking for, the man I was head-over-heels about only hours previously, and had no idea who the heck he was.
My mind was bursting with what was I thinking marrying this guy?
Post wedding cold feet? Or was it something deeper?
As a transformational spiritual teacher, I often talk about the complicated relationship most humans have with love. The fear of being hurt. The fear of loving someone so much it empowers them. The fear of love going away. Among other things.
But the deeper fear, the one that is toughest to admit, is fear of receiving love.
I looked over at Michael and immediately recognized what was going on: I must be having a “Fear of Love” attack.
Whenever I experience receiving love, part of me freaks out. I have thoughts like, nooo I don’t deserve all this love; why would anyone love me? It goes to my core, even deeper than fear of losing love.
Once I determined it was Fear of Love, I saw that I had already started sabotaging the relationship, finding all kinds of reasons to judge him and pull away.
I noticed things about him that did not bother me previously. Like, I never noticed he chews his food so loudly; I never realized he is so controlling; and why is he so goofy all the time?
That Fear of Love culprit was out to destroy my three-hour old marriage.
All of this was going on in the far reaches of my subconscious mind, programmed with false notions about not deserving love.
Witnessing what I was doing, it became an ahha moment. Oh, I’m just afraid of all this love I’m receiving because I believe I don’t deserve it! That's why I’m trying to sabotage it!
Gazing at this incredible man who loves me, I took a deep breath and decided to risk acknowledging my uncomfortable fears. Listening to every word I blubbered, he held me tightly as he wiped away my onslaught of tears.
Then, magically, love returned.
Just. Like. That.
And deserved for thirty six years.
Subscribe to Royce's YouTube channel where she shares enlightening information about her spiritually-based teachings!
Here are some fascinating, informative recent videos:
The Power of Intention
"Listen Up with Royce Morales!" Royce's monthly radio program that focuses on listening and trusting your intuition!
She interviews people with fascinating stories about what their intuition guided them to do. Airs the fourth Monday of every month at 9:00 a.m. PST on HealthyLife.net.
Listen to Royce interview Kathy McDaniel who talks about her personal experience of heaven and hell during a near death experience!
Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, an empowering program of spiritually-based tools to discover and resolve roots of self-sabotaging, subconscious programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth, and unlocks the door to your highest potential.
If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner exploration can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness and connect you to who you really are.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings:
“Want: True love, past lives and other complications” explains the eternal connection of soulmates and the lessons that arrives from them.
“Know: A Spiritual Wake-Up Call” details in a step-by-step way, Royce's profound teachings that help you get in touch with who you really are by getting to the root of self-sabotage.
“Back: Rebirth After Stroke” is Royce's personal spiritual journey after her husband's stroke that will help you through any traumatic event.
All Royce's books are available on amazon.com