Did you know that your primary goal in life is to reach a place of full self-acceptance? Whether you are accepted by others or not.
Yep, warts and all.
What does that mean? It's unconditionally embracing where you are right now. Accepting whatever you define as a weakness or flaw, recognizing yourself as you are. Yes, you can still strive to better yourself, but without judgment.
Since that state of being doesn’t come standard in your manufacturer’s package, it can be challenging. Especially the minute you start buying into criticism and invalidation from others. Or believing those pesky self-judgments.
In fact, once you lean into needing approval from others (which happens pretty much upon arrival) the downward spiral of not approving of yourself begins.
We all crave approval to some degree, even if we claim not to care. That need is a strong part of our primitive, programmed, survival mechanism. We may not realize the hoops we jump through to get it, including faking it through life. It's tough to imagine accepting ourselves minus feedback from others.
Attempting to reach true self-acceptance is vital. I see it as a personal practice, one that could take years (or lifetimes) to accomplish. Running the risk of repeating myself: It's your reason for being.
Plus, I guarantee it will be one of those regret-filled things you'll be asking yourself on your death bed: Did I fully love and accept myself or did I care more about gaining approval?
If attaining self-acceptance is the aim, how do you get there?
The first step is awareness of those inner, outer and hidden aspects you judge as less thans. Those ongoing things you struggle with about yourself. Things that make you feel ashamed or embarrassed. That addictiveness that keeps yanking at you. Times you’re anxiously competing trying to demonstrate you are better, smarter, cuter, thinner, cooler. That feeling of never being good enough, accomplished enough, successful enough. Or that enduring battle trying to prove to your parents that you are lovable no matter what age you’ve reached or how long they've been gone.
Every moment of life is about helping you attain self-acceptance -- if you choose to see it that way. Everything you go through can either help you accept yourself or give you reasons to give up. Your choice.
Let’s say, for example, you failed at a business venture. Self-acceptance is choosing to observe the thoughts you have about yourself, noticing any that seem repetitious, and doing some digging to discover more about why those programmed beliefs are running you. Simultaneously, choosing to not beat yourself up or define yourself as a failure.
There is an even deeper self-acceptant place to get to called radical self-acceptance. Radical self-acceptance is not some New Age-y invention to let you feel better on those low days. It has been studied and proven to play a key role in experiencing physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual growth.
Radical self-acceptance is not about selfishness. It's a productive, basic necessity to lead a happy life by nourishing yourself like you would a child you are raising. Reminder: It is what you are here to do.
Radical self-acceptance not only includes all of the descriptions above, it takes it further. It’s about finding joy in your own achievements as well as your failures. It is not just about accepting yourself; it’s about loving yourself.
Maybe you accept that your hair has turned gray. You might view it with resignation, recognizing it as a sign that you are getting older, yet not really digging it.
Radical self-acceptance takes it further by choosing to love your gray hair, declaring that you are beautiful with gray hair. Or, accepting that you can choose to color it and that’s okay too.
Of course, you can't fake any of this.
Radical self-acceptance is a profound practice or self-compassion, forgiving and encouraging yourself. It’s about accepting your true self and taking action based on why you are alive.
It's about healing, helping and empowering yourself from an authentic place. It comes from the willingness to be vulnerable, open, acknowledging your emotions and thoughts both internally as well as with others.
The reason we lack self-love comes from many different sources. In the work that I do, I help people locate and resolve those subconscious origins so self-acceptance comes from within -- effortlessly.
And those gray hairs start looking better and better!
Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, a spiritually based program, to take you from triggered to empowered!
Royce has a weekly column in Mountain News called "A Higher Perspective on Life" and a quarterly column on Healthy Living Magazine.
Perfect Life Awakening provides tools to discover and resolve sources of subconscious, self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth and unlocks the door to your highest potential.
If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness, and connect you to your authentic self.
Subscribe to Royce's YouTube channel where she shares enlightening information about her empowering, spiritually based teachings!
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings:
“Want: True love, past lives and other complications” explains the eternal connection of soulmates and the lessons that arrives from them.
“Back: Rebirth After Stroke” is Royce's personal spiritual journey after her husband's stroke that will help you through any traumatic event.
All Royce's books are available on amazon.com