Do you react like you are back in high school when someone does not like you? Do you obsess about it for days, weeks, months or even years? Maybe you try ignoring them, pretending to not care about their opinion.
Perhaps you try to understand why, categorizing their attitude as resentment, jealousy, or guilt. Do you attempt to negotiate, educate or reason them out of their misunderstanding of you?
Searching for ways to rectify the situation, you may overcompensate. You demonstrate how kind, caring and generous you are, hoping they change their mind.
You are tempted to punish, even ponder revenge of some kind.
Endeavoring to garner agreement about how wrong this person’s opinion is, you try convincing friends to join your side. But the sting is still there, even with your entire tribe’s support.
You know you have no control over others’ opinions of you; you cannot people-please your way to acceptance. So, you shrug your shoulders, mumble whatever, try to accept that for reasons you may never know or understand, you are not liked.
But you carry hurt, disappointment and confusion forever.
However, no matter how many years past puberty you are, likability symbolizes survival to your primitive, fear-based consciousness. It makes you hyper attuned to what others think of you, needing approval, even from strangers. Nothing is more threatening to your self-worth than not being accepted.
Psychology and self-help teachings offer techniques and mindsets to deal with not being liked. They emphasize not giving them the satisfaction of an emotional response. They encourage faking indifference to take the power out of what they are doing. They explain how that person is coming from their own insecurities, aiming to feed their need for control and power.
These suggestions define you as the victim of not being liked, putting the focus externally rather than as an opportunity to look within. Practicing those suggestions gives temporary results at best, allowing you to wallow in angry self-righteousness.
Instead, use this situation as a wake-up call. Needing others to like you is showing you that you don't like yourself in some way and have covered up. You have been given a key to profound inner discovery, self-growth and authentic resolution.
Do this by noticing your triggered reactions. Determine the button being pushed. Locate your hidden, denied self-judgments. By finding the origin of where you started judging yourself, you will shift from inside. Your need to be liked by others vanishes with genuine self-acceptance.
The bonus? Doing that can allow the situation to shift.
Even if high school has long been over.
Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, a spiritually-based program, to take you from triggered to empowered!
Perfect Life Awakening provides tools to discover and resolve sources of subconscious, self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth, and unlocks the door to your highest potential.
If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness, and connect you to your authentic self.
Royce offers in person and remote group classes and private inner journey sessions using her empowering spiritual clearing techniques.
Subscribe to Royce's YouTube channel where she shares enlightening information about her empowering, spiritually-based teachings!
Here are some fascinating, informative recent videos:
The Power of Intention
"Listen Up with Royce Morales!" is Royce's monthly radio program that focuses on listening to your intuition, your spiritual knowingness!
She interviews fascinating people who have listened and trusted their intuition in big ways. Airing the fourth Monday of every month at 9:00 a.m. PST on HealthyLife.net.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings:
“Want: True love, past lives and other complications” explains the eternal connection of soulmates and the lessons that arrives from them.
“Know: A Spiritual Wake-Up Call” details in a step-by-step way, Royce's profound teachings that help you get in touch with who you really are by getting to the root of self-sabotage.
“Back: Rebirth After Stroke” is Royce's personal spiritual journey after her husband's stroke that will help you through any traumatic event.
All Royce's books are available on amazon.com
Her website is www.RoyceMorales.com and Twitter is @RoyceMorales.
Her YouTube channel is Royce Morales. Email is LvsreaL@aol.com